


was the moonlight always this beautiful?

by pystacyo



Category: Gintama
Genre: 0505, Fluff, Fluff and Mush, M/M, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-04
Updated: 2019-05-04
Packaged: 2020-02-23 18:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18708004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pystacyo/pseuds/pystacyo
Summary: where there are only two of them in this world, under the night sky, illuminated by the moonlight. it was a perfect moment, and it’s enough.“was the moonlight always this beautiful?” gintoki silently murmured, but hijikata was sure he heard him right.“the person I like…” hijikata started, his voice came out like a mumble, his heart was beating wildly but he wanted to tell him.





	was the moonlight always this beautiful?

**Author's Note:**

> 0505! today (at least in my country) is hijikata's birthday so i planned to finish this as soon as possible!  
> i started this fic two weeks ago, and then i watched endgame and my heart went from fluff to angst so fast i can't write for days. i spent days reading manga to fix it lol  
> since next week i'm going to break my heart again and watch endgame (again) so i have to finish this before my heart went into another traumatic experience.  
> but of course, i had to finish this because,
> 
> Happy Birthday, Hijikata Toshirou!  
> maan, you're a fictional man but really loved (by gintoki of course)!

 part of his morning routine was drinking strawberry milk. of course! it was a must for his daily activity, especially if there is a job to. but for sure, he didn’t buy those strawberry milk himself. it was a gift, every morning, from his secret admirer. or so that’s what they called. or, maybe his another stalker, who knows. whoever it was, definitely providing him something good, so gin-san is satisfied with this kind of secret admirer stuff.

but somewhere deep down in his heart, gintoki felt a little uneasy when he took those strawberry milks. gintoki already has a conflicted feelings for someone, that might not return those feelings back. well, maybe. so yeah, he couldn’t give this secret admirer person the same feelings.

however, of course gintoki wasn’t that kind of person, what’s given for him was already his. so what if that person likes him? it’s not like that person demanded him to like him back, the fact that he gave it early morning before gintoki wake up was already a cowardice move. right?

well, it’s not really his place to say. gintoki just thought that if he gave someone he likes something like presents, they should accepted it and enjoyed it thankfully. it doesn’t really matter if the feelings returned or not, right? yes, of course. because, the truth is—

“excuse me.” he heard someone called from the front door, cutting off his trains of thoughts instantly. his ears perked by those familiar deep voice, but he didn’t want to act all excited because it would be really embarrassing. he looked at his employee and waved him off to the front door.

“gin-san, hijikata-san have a job request.” shinpachi said after greeting the man from the front door, since gintoki was too lazy to get up from his desk. that’s what the man looked like to shinpachi.

gintoki indolently picked at his nose then asked the man in question, “what is it, mayora? toshi is acting up again? you want us to buy figurines or doujinshis?”

he clicked his tongue and he sat down at gintoki’s office, then he put off his cigarette into the ashtray shinpachi brought before. “first of all, let’s not argue or fight today,” hijikata interjects. he chugged the tea down as if he’s that thirsty, well, maybe he is. hijikata sweats like a madman, as his brain is brainstorming for an idea. since he was foolish enough to come without a reason just to see his stupid crush for someone equally foolish as him.

 

 

 

“so let me repeat this ‘ _request_ ’ of yours… you want me to catch someone who gave you a bottle of mayonnaise every morning once a week?”

“yeah.”

gintoki looked at him then his empty box of strawberry milk. “why, though?”

hijikata was lost at his thoughts for a while, “because… they might be someone dangerous that might put something like poisonous in the precious mayonnaise?”

the white haired samurai blinked at him few times before asking through, “but you eat them and didn’t die, right?”

reluctantly, hijikata nodded at him, but he wasn’t done. “yet.”

“huh.” gintoki scratched his head out of habit, “so you want me to stake out at the barracks or something? you have to pay me for sure this time, okay? I can’t afford to work for free anymore this month.”

“of course I will pay, idiot, that’s why I hired you.” well, not really though. hijikata just haven’t seen his crush for a while because of his job so… he just wanted to spend some time with him. without arguing or fighting, just enjoying his company for the day.

“okay, okay, sure. I’ll stake out at your place tonight.” gintoki answered as he took his jump manga and casually reading them, covering his reddening face.

hijikata nodded at the _pretending-to-not-bothered_ man, “okay, I’ll be waiting.” he waved as he left gintoki’s house.

 

 

 

the house was really quiet after hijikata left. shinpachi said nothing but cleaning up the ashtray and washing the cup in the kitchen, gintoki was pretending to seriously reading his jump manga. until shinpachi came back from the kitchen, sat down in front of the tv and turn them on, he asked in very casual manner, “gin-san, you will come alone right?”

behind his jump manga, he answered as casual as shinpachi’s question, “no way, I’ll die.”

“you were terribly brave in the battles but can’t face hijikata-san?”

gintoki suddenly slammed his table loudly with both of his arms, “what did you say?!” he screamed, and then he started to point at shinpachi wildly, “that’s different! can you be in the same room with otsu-chan alone, shinpachi-kun?! can you?! can you, huh???” gintoki was freaking out, that was it.

but he knew his boss way too well, of course his attitude and particularly his stupid crush into that _supposed to be enemy_. shinpachi can handle gintoki as calm as he wanted to be especially if it come to his boss’ stubborn attitude, “well… I can’t. but I can’t go with you either, I have to watch otsu-chan’s concert. ah, and also kagura-chan is sleeping over at soyo-hime’s castle.”

“fuck. you all are fired!” gintoki groaned exasperatedly, “fine! I’ll go by myself! it’s just a stupid crush! I’ll get over this job easily because I’m the freaking fearless shiroyasha!”

“...yeah. just, don’t kill him, gin-san.” shinpachi absently answered as he was busy watching the tv, there was otsu-chan re-airing variety show so of course otsu-chan came first.

 

 

 

 

 

gintoki tried so hard to drag shinpachi to go with him, he even begged his own employee with desperation. it was a shame, but gintoki was determined, he can do this! of course, he was the fearless shiroyasha! he can talk to his crush without screaming and pretending to be mad without any problem! he can do this. he can. do. this.

oh fuck he might can’t do this and just freaking out like usual.

he arrived at nine and hijikata was already waiting for him at his room, he was wearing his usual black kimono gintoki could recognize everywhere, smoking cigarette at his porch. “yo. I thought you’re gonna bail on me.”

gintoki clicked his tongue at the comment as he ignored it, _remember, no fighting_. he won’t get riled up today because gintoki is a totally cool person. yes. so instead he asked, “are you sure they will come at night?”

hijikata shrugged without looking at him, “might be. they usually came at night, I caught their shadow few times.”

“okay… sure.” he sat down beside the demonic vice-chief as he let go of his bokuto, and then he silently sighed. it’s going to be a loooong night for sure.

 

 

 

they won’t come. gintoki was veeerry sure of it. because he is here right now.

for fuck’s sake, no matter how long they waited for the culprit, they won’t show up tonight because, goddammit, it was gintoki himself. and this bastard was afraid it might be poisoned! gintoki bought it with his hard earned money! there was no way he would poisoned his own crush, right? (those strawberry milk box gave him the ideas okay? and mayonnaise often have a sale or buy one get one deals, so what! gintoki can afford those!)

“I’ll stake out until past midnight and then go home.”

“yeah, okay.”

the night was quiet, the two men sat down by the porch enjoying the moonlight and the stillness. they enjoyed it as much as each other’s company, today they’re holding themselves back from bantering and fighting over something useless. it was comforting and calming, somehow being like this feels better than lying to themselves in order to be able to talk to each other.

if only they could be more honest, they might could confess their feelings.

“the real reason why I wanted to see this person is, because I already have someone I like. I felt guilty if they gave me this mayonnaise but I can’t return their feelings.”

 _why can’t you return their feelings? why? you like someone already? goddammit_. gintoki was in the midst of his own thoughts that racing through his head like a train, and then he started to rambling about his own troubles. “I had same problem you see… someone gave me strawberry milk every morning without amiss. I’m grateful, really. because they know what I like the most… but it somehow made me feel bad. because I already have someone I like… so…” _goddammit, goddammit, goddammit! he doesn’t need to know that! stupid! why!_

“yeah. I know what you mean.” hijikata answered, completely agreed with the statement but his mind starting to muddle him off with ‘ _what’_ , ‘ _you like someone?_ ’, ‘ _who was it?_ ’, ‘ _what about me?_ ’. he started to freaking out. because all this time he thought gintoki wasn’t really interested in anyone so he thought supplying him strawberry milk, even though he didn’t know who sent them, was enough. in the end hijikata starting to think that it might doesn’t enough to like him from afar.

“what about you? why can’t you return their feelings? you like someone?” gintoki asked, his face was starting to show some glum he barely holding off and an embarrassed hue because of his out of nowhere bravery to told him about his secret admirer stuff. he prayed to the god that the night could hide his face and expression from hijikata.

hijikata then looked at the white haired samurai, he started to feel the warmth from his face. the moon slightly illuminate their night, and it might be just his imagination but it feels like gintoki’s face was faintly pinkish as well. “yes.”

“who is it?” his voice was quite weak but hijikata heard it right, it feels like jealousy. his face was serious but gintoki wasn’t looking at him at all, the reflection of the moon at his crimson eyes looks like sadness, or maybe disappointment.

“then who is it that you liked?” hijikata questioned back, unable to giving gintoki his answer he seeks for.

it was a pregnant silence, but in the end gintoki decided to stay quiet. _it’s you._ he answered in his heart and looked at the moon with a slight smile, and hijikata never seen the moonlight this beautiful. call him sappy and dramatic but the look of his crush right now made his heart fluttered like it never before. it feels like the _moment_.

where there are only two of them in this world, under the night sky, illuminated by the moonlight. it was a perfect moment, and it’s enough.

“was the moonlight always this beautiful?” gintoki silently murmured, but hijikata was sure he heard him right.

“the person I like…” hijikata started, his voice came out like a mumble, his heart was beating wildly but he wanted to tell him. even if he likes someone else. being with him right now is enough.

as if he didn’t heard him, gintoki cut him off. “I’ll go home now.” he grabbed his bokuto then stand up. he did asked him who was it, but it was because of his jealousy. the truth is gintoki didn’t want to hear it, he didn’t even want to know. that’s why he wanted to leave before hijikata break his heart right now. he wasn’t ready. no, not today. he already bought a couple of mayonnaise from the sale yesterday, it would be a waste if he left broken hearted before he gave those stuff to him.

he couldn’t see his expression, gintoki stand tall and his back was ready to walk off. he was disappointed but he couldn’t bring himself to force gintoki to stay right now. so he answered, short and clear. “sure.”

every moments come to an end.

 

 

 

 

 

it was four in the morning, gintoki was walking on his way to the barracks with mayonnaise inside his kimono pocket. hopefully, this was the perfect time to deliver this stuff without hijikata finding out just yet. because, he wasn’t ready for the heartbreak right now.

but of course, the cupid, _or you know, the writer,_ wanted this to happen this way.

walking while lost on his own thoughts, he bumped into someone. his mayonnaise fell to the ground as another stuff from the other guy fell as well. it was a box of strawberry milk.

not surprisingly, of course it was hijikata. but both of them didn’t know that. only the writer knows.

they gaped into the air like fishes, took their stuffs. awkwardly, gintoki took the strawberry milk instead and hijikata follow through, taking the mayonnaise on the ground. with faces as red as tomatoes, they both went the other way without saying anything.

it was the most embarrassing moment in their life.

 

 

 

 

 

two days after the most embarrassing incident in the history (no one know about it, okay? stop talking about it! (the last two days gintoki’s mind is full of _he likes me??? me??? oh my god he sent those strawberry milks! he likes me too!_ )(and hijikata was determined to confess as soon as possible before their future meeting become awkward as fuck.)), gintoki woke up and found another box of the strawberry milk with a note under.

 

**_I like you, moron._ **

**_—hijikata toushiro._ **

 

gintoki felt like his blood is evaporated into the clouds. the butterflies in his stomach might be in another war or something because, ugh. he just can’t. thank God kagura and shinpachi wasn’t home.

but, hijikata was there, sitting down by the staircase below. he was waiting for gintoki in his off duty kimono, smoking his mayoboro. and gintoki noticed, because he could smell those familiar smoke anywhere and immediately know it was hijikata.

so he took his mayonnaise stock from his hidden stash, wrote back below hijikata’s notes.

then he stepped down the stairs, sat down by the end of the stairs next to the man. with a gap in between them, he put the mayonnaise just next to hijikata. and wait for the man to notice.

but of course hijikata noticed everything, he knew when gintoki opened his door, cluttering inside his house and went back outside. he knew when gintoki sat down next to him, he knew something else is written on the notes. so he took the mayonnaise and the notes. he reads the notes,

 

**_I like you too, stupid._ **

**_—sakata gintoki._ **

 

hijikata stayed in his cool pose, but his face and ears was as red as the roses. he put the mayonnaise into his kimono pocket then he asked him, calmly, “want to go out with me?”

he opened the strawberry milk and started drinking them, as gintoki could feel his face was heating up because of the question. it was a weird sight in the morning of kabukicho. two grown men with red faces, sitting down by the stairs; one drinking strawberry milk, another was smoking in a cool pose. both of them are flustered. “sure,” he answered, as casual as he could be.

after a while he took hijikata’s free hand, holding it carefully before asking, “want to go upstairs?” and he grinned at him, hijikata could swear it was brighter than the sun and more beautiful than the moon.

his boyfriend put off his cigarette with a slight smile on his face, and then he looked at gintoki. smiling even more widely, he answered, “yeah, of course.”

 

 

*******

**Author's Note:**

> it came to me when I was eating, what if… secret admirer on hijigin? goddamn, it must be cute to have hiji sending a strawberry milk every morning for gin. but what if gin bought mayonnaise for hiji as well? but you see… he isn’t rich like hiji so once a week is enough. I just love it when they’re secretly in love with each other but too shy to say it, fluffy fluffy hijigin is my life oh my god help help meee
> 
> as in for the title, i was listening to a song and the lyric translation was so beautiful it become the title lol


End file.
